You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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