thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
