how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
