one might say we're banned from that church
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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