he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
