This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dick very happy bro
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
