I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
