Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize