be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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