well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
