And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
