I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
