just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
