he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
