this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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