Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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