i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
