So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
