Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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