am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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