No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
