Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Drake has all the answers
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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