Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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