if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
