Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
