Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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