you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
