I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
