Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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