So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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