Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you traded sex for a burrito?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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