Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
