Don't you send me to vm
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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