think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
