there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
