I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
