It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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