so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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