I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
