Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
