it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
