After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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