So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
