i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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