i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize