wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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