Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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