first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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