That's intense
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
