sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
