The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
