My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
