before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
