The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
