So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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