If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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