would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just cut my nipple shaving
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
