another moral hangover. fuck.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
