im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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