im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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