You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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