I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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