She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
