Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
